Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
