If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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