We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
