some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
