One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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