she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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