I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Randomize
