we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
