She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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