Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
