I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
