If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
