woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Randomize
