Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
