Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Randomize
