I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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