Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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