I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
