I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
