I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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