i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
