Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
