He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
