It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
