He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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