I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
ttyl tear gas
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
