Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
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