Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Randomize
