The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
