found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
