I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
