my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
