How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
