fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
