she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
