just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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