I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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