Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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