I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
