Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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