11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I will die if light touches me.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
