I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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