if you like me you must not know who I am
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
