Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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