My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
