Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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