A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
