So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
