i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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