super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We need to get me chipped asap
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