He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
