but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
