i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
